Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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