I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
