doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ttyl tear gas
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
