My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
