Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
