Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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