True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
