Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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