you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i out mim tonsoeep
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