think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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