god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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