can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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