Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
