this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
