the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
