please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
