She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
