her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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