Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
