you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
