there's paper in my vomit.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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