i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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