Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I bet he comes in French.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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