I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
