Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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