Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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