I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
