Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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