i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
