My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
