my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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