Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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