look no pants
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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