He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
