The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
