I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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