Sry I called you an 8
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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