Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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