i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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