I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
