This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
