Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
