Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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