You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
