She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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