well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
