Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
