As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
