we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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