oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
