CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
