Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
