1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
